Divorce, Dealing with the After Effects

By Putt

Divorce can be devastating and often is. Family unity and daily relationships with your children may be finished, or seriously curtailed. And you may well find yourself single, with no choice about having become so.

But divorce is not the end. If, for example, you are recently divorced, you must acknowledge that you survived it and begin to think seriously about the directions your future will take.

A positive step is to reassess your strengths; and regardless of your possibly being the unexpected victim of the divorce, you still have many positive points; the recognition of those positives can help you regroup and begin anew.

Also, if necessary, you may want to reconsider what you've been doing. You may well want to seek another job in another business, one that you have really wanted to pursue but were prevented from doing so by the weakness in what was your marriage. Do it now! Go for what you honestly and realistically want to do and can do. Teach? Coach? Sell? Become a restaurant waiter? Go for it. Nothing can possibly be too big or too small a challenge for you.

Further, it's always helpful to turn to your friends for support and possible new direction. Your friends know you; they probably know you better than you have thought. Therefore, accept this bit of wisdom: a solidly stable friend can be your best support in overcoming the divorce.

And do not, repeat DO NOT be down on yourself for relying on your friends as well as on professional marriage counselors. They have your best interests at heart; and even though they may tell you things about yourself that you don't want to know; you do need to know those things, and if you have serious weaknesses pointed out. inquire and do what you need to do to do things better or develop new ways of confronting reality.

Finally, remember what many divorcees will, and do attest: the best years of your life may well be upcoming.

So, pray and search for the best!! Without end. I know. It works. I've been there.