When In-laws Are Not Outlaws

By Matt King

The really bad news: I've been divorced twice.

The really Good News: My third marriage was absolutely wonderful!

At any rate, when I make reference to "in-laws," I trust that you will give me some credit for knowing what I'm talking about.

Actually, I had pretty good relationships with the "in=laws" I had during my first two marriages, both of which failed. But as is obvious, my relationship to their "daughter" or "sister" was not as good as it was among them.

My point: I have a whole lot of practical insight into "in-law" relationships, some of which I am sharing here.

First of all, to have good in-law-relationships, you must first respect and honor them, which was, across the board, not difficult for me to do. For, also across the board, they were good people, in all three of my marriages: ambitions, mostly successful, thoughtful and considerate of me, willing to accept me for who I was, even as they may have been wondering why one of them saw fit to bond with me.

My concluding observation here: if it had been up to my in=laws, my marriage to one of their kin would have never ended.

Secondly, to have good in-law relationships, you must be unreservedly committed to making your marriage work, meaning, my in-laws in my three marriages would have likely supported me in my every effort to avoid divorce, assuring the indefinite continuation of my marriage to one among them.

Then, finally, the temptations to unfaithfulness must be avoided at all costs, if, that is, you want to remain a part of your in-law family.

This last point may, indeed, be the most difficult to do. Avoiding temptations, particularly if they are attractive and make you feel good, is almost impossible to do and not succumb to; and if you meet and are influenced by them, your marriage will surely fail.

By contrast, the in-laws I had in my third and genuinely successful marriage had the added benefit of knowing my family well. In other words, they had reasons for trusting my willingness to commit to a female of their kind.

I think it also accurate to say that the in=laws of my third and genuinely fulfilling marriage knew me and my family well enough to have faith in my commitments, thinking quite possibly, that even if I strayed momentarily from those commitments, I would always return to those commitments.

The in-laws of my successful marriage truly loved me. And without them, I would never have known what it is to be genuinely happy in this life.

Thank you, Jesus.

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